1. What time did you get up this morning? 11:59 AM

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? A Christmas Carol in 3D.

4. What is your favourite TV show? That's on the air: LOST, True Blood and Bored To Death. Off the air: Friends, Gilmore Girls, The L Word, Arrested Development.

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Leftovers or a bagel.

6. What is your middle name? Faye.

7. What food do you dislike? Lots of them. Sauces.

8. What is your favourite CD at the moment? The new Say Anything, Katy Perry Unplugged, Lost In Pacific Time EP

9. What kind of car/truck do you drive? 2007 Scion tC.

10. What characteristic do you despise in people? Lying. Not appreciating the people closest to you.

11. Favourite clothing? Hoodies.

12. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would it be? London.

13. Favourite brand of clothing? Not a brand person.

14. Where would you retire to? Puyallup, WA.

15. Most memorable birthday? My 9th because it sucked. But a good one was my 21st cause a lot of people came.

16. Favourite sport to watch? Baseball and football.

17. What does the last text message you received say? Me and Sarah are arguing, that's all that needs to be sid

18. Person you expect to complete this first: Don't care.

19. When is your birthday? July 21, 1986.

20. Are you a morning person or a night person? A night person entirely.

21. What is your shoe size? 10.

22. Favourite Pets? My kitty Cadence

23. Exciting news you'd like to share with us? Got nothin.

24. What did you want to be when you were little? A radio DJ. I still think that would be great.

25. What is your favourite candy? Reese's.

26. What is your favourite flower? Daisy.

27. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Christmas!

28. What is your full name? Alexandra Faye Valliere.

29. What are you listening to right now? The Santa Claus 2 on TV.

30. What was the last thing you ate? Bad pizza

31. Do you wish on stars? Yes, everyone you love and miss is up there as a star, you might get them. My mom told me she'd be up there.

32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Cerulean.

33. How is the weather right now? Chilly but not cold, it was a sunny day.

34. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My cousin, Pat

35. What is your favourite soft drink? Wild Cherry Pepsi

36. Favorite restaurant? Cheesecake Factory

37. Colour of your hair? Brown/Red/Blonde.

38. What was your favourite toy as a child? My Gameboy.

40. Hugs or kisses? Both.

41. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla.

42. Do you want your friends to email you back? Uh sure.

43. What is under your bed? Dust and some toys Cadence has pushed under there.

44. What did you do last night? Worked.

45. What are you afraid of? Losing loved ones.

46. How many keys on your key ring? Three, I think.

47. How many years at your current job? Almost 6 months in my current department.

48. Favourite day of the week? Friday.

49. How many towns/cities have you lived in? Puyallup, WA. Sacramento, CA. Montclair/Fredericksburg, VA. Jersey City, NJ.

50. Do you make friends easily? Not really.

51. Was the first person you talked to today male or female? Female.

52. How late did you stay up last night? Like 5 AM.

53. Have you ever seen your friends naked? Yeah.

54. Are you nervous about anything? Money.

55. Are you jealous of anyone? No. People think I am because they don't understand the contempt I hold for them.

56. What's something you really want right now? A friend that doesn't treat me like shit.

57. Anything exciting tomorrow? Nope.

58. What is in your purse/backpack right now? Shit.

59. Wallpaper on your cell phone? Bill Beckett and Adam Siska acoustic at Hot Topic earlier this year.

60. When is the last time you were in a swimming pool? I don't even remember.

61. Where does most of your family live? Direct family in Virginia, dad's side all in New England, mom's side all in Washington.

62. Do you sit or stand in the shower? Uh, stand...

63. Could you live with roommates? I don't do great with that.

64. How many pair of flip flops do you own? None. I hate them.

65. Did you ever throw up while kissing someone? Uh, no.

65. Do you have a flip phone? No, I have an iPhone.

66. What was the first thing you did this morning? Got a stupid text message.

67. What are you doing this weekend? I am not sure.

68. When is the last time you ate a sandwich? I don't know.

69. Are you old enough to vote? I have been for years.

70. How has the week been? Good and bad at different points.

RIP Mommy. Three years ago today. 1.16.61 - 11.23.06.

It’s been three years today since my mom’s suicide and I just… miss her. I wish that was a feeling I could stop but I can’t, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss the hell out of her.

However, I do forgive what she did. She asked me to do that and I realized about about six months ago that I am able to do that. I don’t think she meant to hurt me. I think it’s just something she couldn’t see the way out of and that’s unfortunate and I wish I could have saved her one more time like I had been for years but sometimes, I guess, you just can’t save someone anymore. All will be okay, all has been okay. I just miss her most on this day.

I hate that I will always and forever be a sad person. Even in my happiest moments, I remember what happened and what she did because I want to tell her everything that's making me so happy. I can't. I never can. I try to believe that she knows because she's watching over me but it's hard to believe things that aren't tangible.

I hate that this is so much of who I am now. It's been so long. I said so long. The goodbyes have been said to ashes and to memories and in dreams. The forgiveness has been given. Why is this still so much of me?

I will always miss her. I will always need more than I got. I will always search for a mother figure to cling to and I never wanted to be that person. I will always have questions. I don't want to be three years removed from her. I don't want the 23rd to come.

I don't want to be strong this year and I don't want to pretend I don't care when I care so deeply. I want to cry on someone's shoulder and tell them over and over again, "I miss my mom. I miss my best friend. I miss my superhero." That's what she always was even when she was falling apart. She was my superhero. She was the person who kept me safe and who made everything better, even when she couldn't make herself better. She gave me a home when no one else ever would have and she loved me unconditionally, even though I was such a letdown, because I stayed and I loved her unconditionally.

So I will always ask, "WHY?" Why would she do this? Why would she leave me? Why would she let me find her like that when she knew no one else possibly could? I live with the image I found that night and I will for the rest of my life. And I will live with a war raging inside me between knowing it wasn't my fault and the guilt of knowing I could have just called her earlier than I did that day. Maybe things would have been different. Maybe I would still have my best friend. Hindsight is 20/20 and nothing is worse than the clarity this brings. Just come home.

</b>

Hanson fans getting beat the fuck up outside of HOB in Chicago. Now I understand Hanson fans are crazy but this is anything but okay.

my itunes top 25. seriously with the tai dude?

I miss my Mark. But at least now when I think of him I just smile. He was an amazing friend.

I remember the days we felt alive. The music was loud and we were singing along. The best of friends then and the best of friends we’ll always be in those memories. No matter how far we’ve drifted apart and whatever the fall outs were, those memories still exist and they’re still cherished. In that way, we’re all still friends forever, because of the memories. You don’t have to live in the present every minute of every day. Memories can make you smile just as much as the present and they can make you smile when it’s impossible to do so in the present. “Don’t live in the past” is a negative statement telling you to let go of things. But we’re all alive in the past just as much as we’re alive now.

And for those who have gone to a better place and left us here without them, they’re alive in the past because they lived then. That’s the purpose of memories… to remember what we no longer have and smile.

No one uses the word “memories” for anything negative. Remember a time when you were smiling so wide your mouth hurt and a time when you were laughing so hard you cried. Tell me you didn’t smile.

New tattoo. Written for me by Bill Beckett himself.



This makes five.

http://tinyurl.com/c5jleg

Another guy did Les Mis on Britain's Got Talent and he might not sound as good as Susan but I like him more.

Yeah, got my Hey Monday/This Prov tickets. Not looking forward to a hometown Friday Night Boys show but what are you gonna do? I'm excited.

A zillion pics of my new apartment (and my cat) that I am so very excited about, especially now that I've finished packing. I'm still working on it here and there but this is the general picture.

( Oh my, my Virginia )

Also. SERIOUSLY. Watch this and watch this now, especially if you love Les Miserables like me. http://perezhilton.com/2009-04-12-susan-boyle

Hello Butch Walker fan!



Congratulations on being one of the first 30 ticket buyers! You have won a special Soundcheck Party Meet & Greet with Butch Walker for the upcoming show on March 19th, 2009!



To ensure entrance to the Soundcheck Party Meet & Greet, please arrive at the venue NO LATER than 2 HOURS PRIOR to doors (door time is 8:00 pm) and congregate in the general vicinity of the Box Office while forming a separate line. Be sure to bring a photo ID, your ticket to the event, and a printed copy of THIS email to ensure entrance. Please do not wander off, as a representative of the band will come to you around this time to escort you into the exclusive Soundcheck Party Meet and Greet.



If cameras are allowed into the venue, you are more than welcome to take pictures with the band (*please contact the venue directly about its camera policy). *NO VIDEO CAMERAS AND NO PROFESSIONAL CAMERAS. Please bring a copy of your ticket purchase confirmation email and a valid photo ID. You will receive ONE Meet & Greet pass for EACH ticket purchased. Please do not arrive late, as late arrivals will not be permitted.



If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to respond to this email or call Artist Arena at (212) 420-8500. We hope you enjoy the show and thank you again for your never ending support.

RIP Grandma. I love you.

I knew this was going to happen today. What is with me and my crazy feelings?

YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I WANNA KNOW YOU...I want to know 33 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet is fine...You're on my list, so I wanna know you better! :)

1. Can you cook? I can make the best spicy chicken ever.
2. What was your dream growing up? To be in a band.
3. What talent do you wish you had? If I could sing, that'd be awesome.
4. Favorite place? My cousin's house in Puyallup, WA.
5. Favorite vegetable? Carrots.
6. What was the last book you read? I'm working on reading a book called Dark at the Roots.
7. What zodiac sign are you ? Cancer.
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Four tattoos and my ears are pierced.
9. Worst Habit? I guess smoking.
10. Do we know each other outside of lj? Yes, ma'am.
11. What is your favorite sport? I only watch them but baseball, football and hockey.
12. Negative or Optimistic attitude? I try to be optimistic but I'm just a realist, really. Neither one.
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Probably act retarded.
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? Finding my mom with a bullet in her mouth. SORRY, I KNOW IT'S DEPRESSING BUT IT'S TRUE!
15. Tell me one weird fact about you: I hate sauce on my pizza.
16. Do you have any pets? I have a kitty named Cadence.
17. Do you know how to do the macerana? Yes, I certainly do.
18. What time is it where you are now? 3:47 pm
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Scary as fuck oh my god.
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? My weight.
21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? Both at the exact same time, that's what I always do.
22. What color eyes do you have? Blue.
23. Ever been arrested? No, just pulled over a bunch and "spoken to".
24. Bottle or Draft? I don't like beer, yucky.
25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? Pay my bills and move.
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? I hate bubble gum.
27. What 's your favorite bar to hang at? I don't really hang at bars but Arlene's Grocery in the city has the best drinks. Brittany's in VA is awesome, too, even if it's hokey.
28. Do you believe in ghosts? I used to say no but yeah, I do.
29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Sit on the computer, drive, listen to music.
30. Do you swear a lot? Oh yeah.
31. Biggest pet peeve? People who hang up on me.
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Annoyed.
33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? Well, I did that.

Name: Alexandra
Date: 2/14/2009
Colorgenics Number: 15324706


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to 'All things bright and beautiful'. This personifies a caring person, a person who 'needs' and indeed 'needs to be needed'.

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

Matters are not progressing as well as you would have hoped and you are having to make concessions - but you still believe that your goals are realistic it's just that people can't seem to see your point of view. You know what you want but you'll only accept suggestions under duress.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.

You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.

PERSONAL SIDE NOTE: Whoa... That's freaky.



http://www.goldinuniverse.com